Hindi Adult, Hot, Spicy, Dirty, Double Meaning Jokes, Sms Text message with images pictures

Teacher: LOVE kese hota hai? 

Student: Miss …”

L” ko pakar ke, 

“O” ko daba ke, 

“V” mein dalo, 

jab “E” kee awaz aaye to samjho k 

“LOVE” ho gaya

Nurse Ne Pareshan Hote Hue Doctor Ko Bola.

Nurse: “Sir, Mene 14 Number Wale Patient Ka 4 Bar B.P Check Kiya Hai, Har Baar Bhada Hi Mila Hai”

Dr. Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “Abki Bar Check Karo To Apni Shirt Ke Uper Ke Button Band Karke Check Karna“

Sharma Ji Ki Party Mein Dinner Karte Hue Verma Ji Ke Paas Mrs Sharma Akar Boli.
Bhaisaab, Aapne To Kuch Liya Hi Nahi.

Aur Ek Chicken Ka Leg-Piece Uthha Ke Unki Plate Mein Rakh Diya.

Party Khatam Hone Par Sharma Ji Ne Verma Ji Se Puchha.

“Khana Kaisa Tha?”

Verma Ji: Dishes To Sabhi Badiya Thi, Par End Mein Bhabhi Ji Ne Jo Taang Utha Ke

Di, Maza Aa Gaya

Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ki Girlfriend Life Mein Pahli Bar Unse Milne Aane Wali Thi,
Janab Ne Unka Intezar Karte Karte Ek Sher Likha, Jo Aap Logo Ke Samne Pesh Karta Hu
Aaj Kona Kona Ghar Ka Diyo Se Sajaye Bethe Hai,
Kamra Apna Sara Khushbu Se Mahkaye Bethe Hai,
Hamari Deewangi Ka Alam To Dekho Mere Dosto,
Wo Raat Ko Aanewale Hai..
Aur Hum Dopahar Se Hi Condom Chadaye Bethe Hai

 Ladkiyaan Chaar Cheezon Ki Deewaani Hoti Hai.
1. Make-Up
2. Mobile Phone
3. Shopping
4. ?????
Neeche Dekho,
abe kamine  Yahaan Nahi,
Apne Neeche Dekh

एक गुब्बारे वाले की दुकान के बाहर लिखा था:
अगर अपने बच्चों को गुब्बारा नहीं दिला सकते तो वक्त पे गुब्बारा चढ़ा लिया करो।

पटियाला की दो बातें बड़ी मशहूर हैं।
पहला पटियाला पेग
और
दूसरा पटियाला सलवार।
एक चढ़ने के बाद मजा देती है और दूसरी उतरने के बाद।

सकारात्मक सोच (Positive thinking) को कैसे बढाया जा सकता है:
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आप एफ टीवी (FTV) चैनल देखें।
आप हमेशा सोचेंगे कि "इसका नहीं तो अगली वाली का जरूर दिखेगा"।

Jo Apni GF Ko Chand Samjhte Hai,
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Wo Kripya Dhyan De Ki..

Chand Pe AapSe Phle 17 Log Chadh Chuke Hai,



Girl and boy lost in jungle After two days of struggle for food and water,
girl said-dear plz fuck me.
boy asid: why?
girl said: abey kuch to ander jayega.


Wife working on a computer said:
Suggest a password.
Husband: My Penis.
Wife fell down from the chair laughing.
Because
Computer said:
Rejected “PASWORD TOO SHOT”


Girl: tumhe chutkule pasand h?
Boy: no, mujhe chut aur kulle pasand h. 

Wife-apne mere boobs chus-chus kr bade kr diye.
Pati-esa hota to mera lund mere ghutne tk pahunch gya hota.
Aur muje condom ki jagah cycle ka tube lagana padta.


Ek Din Bhagwan Ne Ek Ashiq Se Puchha:
Bhagwan: Maine Ladkiyon Ko Itna Sundar Banaya Hai,
Fir Bhi Koi Kami Ho To Batao??
Ashiq Haath Jodte Hue Fariyad Karta Hua Bola:
Ashiq: Bas Neeche Hole Mein Password System Kar Do,
Taaki Jiska Ho Wahi Khol Sake? 



Teacher- bachcho muh me
Kya kya chize nhi leni chahiye.?
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Little student- pencil,
Rabr anguli or jalta huaa blab..
Teacher- jalta huaa blub kyo?
Little student- kyo ki rat ko
Mummy papa se kahati h
"Balb jal raha hai
Me muh me nhi lungi.




Santa delhi ke ek kothe par gaya or bola,
Muje rita se milna hai.
Mousi : vo ek baar k 1000 rs leti hai,
Santa : no problem.
santa ne rita k sath sex karke 1000rs de diye.
Next day fir rita se sex karke 1000rs de diye.
3rd day bhi sex karke 1000rs de diye.
Rita : bade dildar ho kahan se aye ho?
Santa: Ludhiana se.
Rita: waha to meri behan bhi rehti hai.
Santa : malum hai, usi ne 3000rs diye the
aur kaha tha meri behan ko de dena...!





Husband to wife : Aaj tumhari behan ko apne ghar me dekh kar,
bahut khushi ho rahi hai...
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Wife: Jeans pehen lo......
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Payjame me khushi saaf nazar aa rahi hai




Lady doctor pagal patient se:
Mera Dupatta Utaro

Pagal : 
Ok

Lady doc:
Ab Meri shirt Utaro

Pagal: 
Ok

Lady doc:
Ab jaldi se Meri Shalwar bhi utaro

Pagal: 
Ok

Lady doc:
Aur aage se Kabhi 

Mere Kapde Na PehnNa Ok.

Maangta hoon to deti nahi,
jawab meri baat ka”

“Deti hai to khada ho jata hai,
rome rome jazbat ka”

“Kehta hoon use aise na andar rakho,
yun jawab sawal ka”

“Wo kehti hai, pahle tum dikhao,
Rukh apne baat ka”

“Ishara karke kehti hai pakadane ko mujhko,

Cup garam coffee ka”

“Aur khud mera pakad leti hai..
thanda glass juice ka”

“Sochta hoon aaj bahon me pakad ke daal hi doon,
balon me fool gulab ka"



Sirf Mard Jaantey Hain kay
"Subah Sirf Sooraj He nahi
Uthta"
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Jisey samjh aya wo
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Like kare
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baqi
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Elaaj karwayen.